First Presbyterian Church of Roanoke Rapids, NC
16 East Fifth Street, Roanoke Rapids, NC   27870
252-537-4018,  252-537-9041(Fax),  office@fpcrr.com

In Touch -- May 2006

A Message from the Pastor:

As I sit in my study at the end of April, my attention is drawn to the beautiful spring skies that have arrived amidst the news that the causalities in Iraq continue to mount. With the coming of Memorial Day this month and spring in full glory, God’s intervention in world affairs seems to be needed more then ever and at the same time God’s presence in nature is just as visible as any spring time in my memory. The hymn, “O BEAUTIFUL FOR SPACIOUS SKIES” comes to mind with its stirring tune. The following is a brief history of the hymn that may be found in The Presbyterian Hymnal Companion, p.379.

“Katharine Lee Bates (1859-1929), borne in Falmouth, Massachusetts, attended Wellesley College and stayed on as professor of English literature until her death… Two events in her life in the summer of 1893 precipitated the writing of this hymn. First, she visited the World's Columbian Exposition at Chicago, of which she wrote:

The White City made such strong appeal to patriotic feeling that it was in no small degree responsible for at least the last stanza of "America the Beautiful."... We went on, my New England eyes delighted in the wind-waved gold of the vast wheat fields.

Second, she ascended Pikes Peak, Colorado, and her soul was stirred by the expansive earth below and the spacious skies above. She wrote, ‘It was there as I was looking out over the amber skies, that the opening lines of this text formed themselves in my mind.’”

Perhaps, by the wonder of God’s mercy and grace, nations and peoples at war will be able to move from a time of conflict and destruction to a time of peace and rebuilding. As we prepare for and celebrate Memorial Day, let us pray for the Spirit of God to move across the face of the Earth fostering among all people a desire to build-up, encourage, and seek the safety of all so that the great suffering of armed hostilities that has been visited upon the earth may be alleviated and the glory and abundance of God’s created order revealed and shared among all flesh.

Margo Allen and Ellen Brunette are in charge of this service with WOC participating. Wear hats if you wish & Come prepared to celebrate and worship at the service, put on by the women our church. It’s Mother’s Day and what better day to Celebrate Women!




In The Narthex are copies of information on the mission trip

Mission Minded People.

If you are interested please feel free to pick up a copy from the Narthex or the Church office.

 

News from the Pastoral Care Committee:

Please contact the following person’s if you have prayer needs. Your first call should be to the minister and then to the moderator and/or Assistant who will pass the information on to the first person in each group listed, to activate the chain. Please advise us of your individual concerns. We want to serve you.

Revised Prayer Chain List Moderator: Margo Allen 537-7079
Assistant: Roni Hackenburg 537-4487
 

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25Ascension of the Lord

Kids Say The Darnest Things

Can you imagine yourself to be the nun that is sitting at her desk grading these papers all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7 MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU.  HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.